In my feelings...
- E. Ruby
- Oct 10, 2018
- 3 min read
Today is World Mental Health day. My mental health is something that I have really worked hard at being mindful of and keeping in check. There are times when I really struggled not to fall down in the dumps. I have taken an emotional beating by some people in my life. I am a grateful and happy woman. I am thankful for so much in my life. I try to look at every single thing that takes place in my life; big or small, good or crummy, and show my gratitude for the blessing or the lesson. I also like to consider myself as a very mindful person. I am aware of my feelings, I try to ride the waves of life and know that I can only control my own thoughts, decisions, moods and actions. I check in with myself often and acknowledge how I feel, whether good or bad, and try to stay within the present moment. I am human though and like everyone else, I have my difficult, stressful and not-so-great moments. I try not to dwell on the past or get too worked up about the future. I do my best to take life one day at a time.
I often struggle with the way that people treat each other at times. I cannot wrap my head around how others can be so unhappy with their lives, that they have to try and pry happiness away from others. I can't comprehend how people can be so jealous and envious of the success of others, that they try to dim the light that shines in those who are only trying to live their best life possible. Life is a journey for every single living being on this planet. Some have a more difficult journey to face, which is the very reason why everyone should help to support one another! It's that simple!! Listen to others ideas, be a shoulder to cry on, help when you're able to, be a light in the life of someone who could badly use it. There can be so much pressure and stress in this world....why make life more difficult for someone?
I also continue to be surprised by how adults can be such bullies to one another. At times worse than children! Sometimes this comes not in the form of verbal abuse or unkind words, but by pure action. I have been witness to and have experienced firsthand, how petty, judgmental and 'cliquey' people can be. I have experienced seclusion and persecution, invalid and unwanted criticism, and exclusion and social isolation. This has not only happened in my personal life, but in my place of work. I have to admit that I love my job and while I work with some pretty amazing people, I also work with some very miserably folk. Some days it is unbearable to know that I have to come to work and breath in their toxicity and nasty, childish drama. A perfect example of how you cannot 'make' people be nice or change how others act. I've been kind and polite, I've included them in planned events and outings, I've thrown up motivational and inspirational posters in hopes that it sparks something positive in them. All to no avail. I rally between ignoring their bullshit attitude toward me and being fed up with it and taking a stand.
My private life....I've had crossed paths with my fair share of bullies and jerks. I've dated some emotionally and mentally abusive men....narcissists, liars and cheaters, I've had 'friends' who have stabbed me in the back and turned against me. I've had family members who have made it clear that they just don't give a shit. It seems that the older a person gets, the less loving and genuine people they have in their corner. People who used to be friends have somehow turned foe, family members drift away from one another and the journey becomes less filled with supportive, caring people who will ride it with you. This is my experience anyway. My journey, especially within the last couple of years, has been quite lonely at times. I know the genuinely amazing people who will always be by my side and I am forever grateful for their love and friendship. While life is always full of lessons to be learned, sometimes those lessons are hard pills to swallow.
xo
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