I'm a Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT 200)!!

After an amazingly beautiful, yet grueling 6-month long course, I graduated from my 200hr Yoga Teacher Training in March of this year. Once I determined that I had passed all of my written and practical exams, I became a registered member of Yoga Alliance and can now proudly call myself a Registered Yoga Teacher!! Woot woot!

Going back to school in your late 30's as a single parent, is not an easy feat. I spent lunch hours at my full-time job, studying and doing homework assignments. I spent every evening either reading about yoga, writing about yoga or practicing yoga. My weekend sessions in yoga training meant a minimum of 3-4 hours and upwards of 6-7 hours of physical yoga practice between Saturday and Sunday school sessions. It was tiring, but I grew stronger both physically and mentally. I had to dedicate a lot of time to myself, which I wasn't really used to doing....but I felt good about it. I felt deserving of it. I felt ready for this challenge. I was excited!!

Sadly on the flip side, I also felt like while I had the support of a number of dear close friends and family (which I am forever grateful for), I seem to have had some friends and family just drift away. They literally just fell off the face of the planet and out of my life. Now I know what you're thinking......"Screw them. You don't need the negativity of unsupportive people in your life!". The reality is....when they were close with you at one time, when you grew up with them, when you shared so many experiences and made so many memories with them....ya, you kinda want them in your life. I really had a hard time wrapping my head around what I might had done or not done to cause them to let the friendship go sour. I didn't have those who I thought would be in my corner, checking up on me to see how I was managing. Not even a "Hey, how has your course been going? How are you making out with everything? Do you need anything? I'm proud of you!". I didn't have them nudging me along when times were rough (and trust me....there were a few), sending me positive thoughts and words of encouragement. Knowing damn well that I had no family in the city that I live in (I do have to throw in here that I am grateful for my Daughter's grandparents and my friends Val & Angie.....they have been the only ones to check in with me and selflessly offer to help me out), perhaps questioning how I was keeping up with parenting, running a house, maintaining a property, managing school, keeping my head on straight.......etc. This made for some sad and lonely moments for me. It started to stir up feelings of anger as I felt like my friends and family should care! Like what happens in my life should mean something to them. That they should want to know how I was making out and that I could ask for help if ever needed. That is what loving friends and family do! I sometimes had more encouragement and kind words from acquaintances and people that I barely knew, than I did from those who at one time were very close with me.

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Truth bomb: My own Father doesn't even know that I graduated from my yoga course and that I am now teaching. Not once did he even message or call to ask how things were going or check in to see if I needed anything. I really should not be surprised as this is something that he just 'does'......but it still stings and leaves the unanswered question of "what the hell is wrong with him?". Neither myself, nor my Daughter (or any of my 4 siblings) are all that important in his life and he has made that abundantly clear. He, in my opinion, is a huge narcissist....so I really should have zero expectations. Yet sadly, I still do.

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Through this journey that I had started to take, I took huge inventory of my life. I had to become my own best friend. I would literally give myself pep talks (yes, even talking out loud to myself sometimes). I would do my sincere best to think positive thoughts and try to show my gratitude for every single thing, big or small, in my life. Even the bad moments. I would tell myself multiple times a day that while a moment may be bad, painful or frustrating....it could always be worse. It's okay to feel this way, but not to dwell. Out of bad, comes good. I had to transform myself to live this way. I feel like it was the only way that I was going to make it through the 6 months, without getting discouraged.

xo

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